The Golden Threaded Pearl
By Sunny Mera
Sunny Mera grew up in the land of the Elfs in a small community called Elvintown. She married a genius elf named Jack, he was the smartest elf at Elvintown High School. They met in their high school musical. She was the spotlight operator and he was the lighting director. They first talked over headsets, and met when he taught her how to change the gels in her spotlight.
“I can listen to him for the rest of my life,” Sunny thought to herself as Jack wound up a long orange rope of lights. However, Jack moved away to attend Elfvard College. Responsibly, they broke up, because it was the 90’s and no cell phones existed. Sunny and Jack could not afford to travel. Plus, they were too young.
Sunny’s senior year of college, Jack came back to Elvintown to find her and ask her to marry him and have a family together. Sunny had never been happier, then feeling loved by Jack.
When Sunny was expecting her first baby with Jack, something happened. A kind doctor elf touched her during the birth. Her elvin husband, Jack, was sitting right next to the doctor elf when it happened. Sunny knew the doctor elf was just doing his job, but it violated her sacred space. She struggle to make sense of the touch in her sacred space while she gave birth to baby Jamie. She could not understand the doctor elf’s touch, and she broke around that time.
Baby Jamie was a perfect beautiful elvin baby. Like all elvin babies, Jamie cried and cried when she needed to be held, loved and nurtured.
Poor Sunny struggled. She could not stop thinking about the touch in her sacred space as she gave birth to her perfect baby girl in rural New Elfland. In time, baby Jamie would only sleep if Sunny was walking and holding her in her arms. Sunny wore down and could not keep walking, and her family was far away in Elvintown.
Then one day while Jack was at work, something happened. Sunny became afraid. She held her baby, Jamie, and rocked her gently praying to the Elvin Lord to save her from the fear and terror of isolation in her country home. The belief that God is good was a protective belief when Sunny became sick. When Jack came home, he found Sunny and Jamie locked in the nursery room. Jack swore that nobody would harm Sunny, and insisted that the fleece glove was just the work of the wood gnomes, that were common in the rural New Elfland homes. Sunny cried, and called her other elvin mommy friends and explained her fear.
“Oh, Sunny! You are experiencing mommy madness! You must see a doctor as soon as possible and get medicine,” her mommy friends said. It was too late to call the elvin mental health doctor when she got off the phone. The next day, Jack helped seek care.
Sunny took the medicine and slowly stopped being afraid. Eventually she wasn’t afraid anymore, but she felt so much pain from the touch in her sacred space. She prayed and prayed that the Elvin Lord would heal her. When she asked Jack to love her through her pain of being touched in her sacred space, he refused. He said it wasn’t what he signed up for in marriage. So eventually, Sunny couldn’t be married to Jack anymore. Jamie was six years old when Sunny and Jack divorced. Sunny tried to be the best mommy to Jamie that she could, but she struggled and struggled with her pain of feeling trapped by the memory.
As a young girl, Jamie felt it was unfair that her mommy was always writing and trying to plot a way out of her pain. Sunny wanted to heal, and loved Jamie more than anything in the world, but she was stuck. Sunny wrote her story trying to build a world where she wanted to be, but she struggled to find the golden thread that would make her story heal her soul.
She tried everything to heal, but everytime she sent letters to the doctor who violated her sacred space, she heard silence. She wanted to heal, but she didn’t believe she would be able to move on and learn to love again. Eventually Sunny and Jamie moved back to Elvintown to be near family. It felt so good to be home, but Sunny had to find a new job to support Jamie.
The wise advisor to her helped introduce Sunny to the Mother Ship, which offered her a job back in Elvintown. The Mother Ship was the institution that created all the doctors in the land of the Elfs. Sunny took the job worried, because she still struggled with the memory of the nice doctor elf at the birth.
She was concerned that working on the Mother Ship may stir her emotions and memory of doctor elf. Working within the system was a struggle. However, what choice did Sunny have? Jamie needed food, clothes, and a house.
Sunny cried at her desk every time she thought of doctor elf. Then, one day she saw an email about a new initiative aimed at changing the system. Sunny knew she had to say something, or she would not be able to keep working at the Mother Ship. She gathered all her courage and hope, and sent the leader a message. The leader responded quickly that she wanted to hear Sunny’s ideas.
Sunny waited until the next day, and sent an email. She shared specific ideas about how the doctor elf may have avoided violating her sacred space. She suggested he use a mirror. Or that he explained why he performed every step of the exam, or ask her to change positions if he could not see what he was doing. Then she shared the most important problem.
She explained that she felt hurt and could not heal alone by herself. They designed the system to provide money when errors happen. Money would not fix Sunny. Sunny wanted to heal so she could live a full life, love and be present for the people she valued. Her issue was a spiritual and emotional. Money could not solve her dilemma.
Sunny kept praying to the Elvin Lord to help her soul. It felt a little better every time she could talk and share, but she needed the system to change so that she could resolve her pain. She knew even if it required another painful experience, like the doctor elf explaining his perspective. She needed insight, and hoped that an honest conversation would help heal her soul.
When the leaders of the Mother Ship listened to her story, they wanted to change the laws that ruled the doctors of elf land. Sunny prayed to the Elvin Lord to grant her one wish. To heal from the pain of the violation of her sacred space.
With the help of the Mother Ship leaders, the Elvin Lord granted Sunny her wish. The Mother Ship council gathered, and all the bioethicists, spiritual leaders, doctors, and leaders at the rural New Elfland Hospitaland came together to oversee a panel that explored what went wrong, and how it was a story that happens to many mommy elves. The story of motherhood, where expectations of the birth and the reality of the experience, they rarely matched well.
Once Sunny was able to talk with the nice doctor elf, she was able to heal and move on. She was not always perfect, but she loved Jamie, and just wanted to feel better. In time with the words of the nice doctor elf to help her, she healed. She managed to work at the Mother Ship long enough to get a glowing reference for her next job.
As baby Jamie grew into a teenager, she dedicated herself to the Elvin Lord’s love, in part to rebel against her father Jack’s dislike of the Elvin Lord and religion in general.
The day of her baptism, Sunny gave her a special gift a beautiful pearl necklace on a golden thread to symbolize her own struggle to heal, and difficulty loving Jamie, the way she wished she had always been able to. Like a grain of sand in an oyster, in time a gem is forged. So too, was the violation of sacred space like a grain of sand. In time, like a pearl forms, so too would the souls of Jamie and Sunny be shaped by the struggle. Sunny prayed that someday Jamie would forgive her for all the time Sunny spent struggling to heal in motherhood. Sunny hoped Jamie would appreciate the beauty of it one day.
Jack spent time visiting Jamie, and he helped Jamie feel supported. In time, with plenty of therapy and support from friends and the vast family in Elvintown, Jamie felt loved by all.